I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Oh god it's open bar.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
