The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize