I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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