I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
