Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
