Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize