I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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