You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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