Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize