I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
