using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
