all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
