His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
