I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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