tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
