just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
