just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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