Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize