did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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