One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
