He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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