I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
