mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
