I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
