We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I deserve this hangover.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
