I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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