his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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