he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize