It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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