Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
When did angry sex become our thing?
Also, beer. Big fan.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
