dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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