I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
