32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
