My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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