Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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