dude i'm inner monologue high
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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