I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
