and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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