i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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