Do you still have your period?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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