so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
