Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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