i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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