I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i will never coherently bang her
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
