You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
