Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize