yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
