Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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