it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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