Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
