I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
