Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
