you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
