i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
porn star boner night. come get it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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