It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
