so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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