Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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