he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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