Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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