I feel great
I just peed on a car
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
