out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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