the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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