is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
