operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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