i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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