im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
