4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
