I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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