Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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