Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
