I am in a vortex of obligation.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
