i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i think i have two assholes
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
