Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
